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Learn how to feel your feelings and emotions, they say. But you donât even know where to start. Youâve gotten into a bad habit or have been a certain way for so long, becoming a touchy-feely person, well, it seems thatâs not going to happen.
Regardless, you know how you are is not working for you, or for your loved ones. You know youâre not fully living, nor feeling truly alive. Youâre tired of being emotionally frustrated and incapable to accessing what you feel. Youâre only getting older and more stuck in your ways, and canât imagine what âfiguring this outâ even looks like.
Likely you’ve been trying everything under the sun to quell your fear or anxiety. Therapy, meditation, breathing exercises, positive affirmations and on and on. Maybe youâve found a few things that work to get you through a moment or day, or sleep only ok at night –if youâre lucky. But itâs barely working and / or the effects donât last. Fear or anxiety remains an ongoing issue, hurting your enjoyment of life.
When negative emotions take over, nothing else matters. Your mind loops relentlessly. You feel crummy. Itâs so hard just to get through the day.
Or, perhaps you go numb and start to feel dead inside. Either way, one thingâs clear, you need to get out of this emotional prison as soon as possible so you can start living again.
But how do you do that? What action should you take?
This is a detailed list explaining the many things we do, rather than feel our emotions.
Scan it, and plan to be very surprised by what you learn about yourself and why you engage in many of your behaviors. Such awareness, is a crucial step leading to change.
Hereâs the deal: Especially if youâve had an emotional issue for a year or longer, you may be surprised that you receive one or even several dozen payoffs (aka âperksâ) for having this issue in your life. Payoffs that you likely donât want to give up.
And the thing is, you probably have never acknowledged them. Or even know that you have them. Or certainly, know what they are. All you may be aware of is; you arenât motivated or canât seem to shake this issue, and have merely resorted to coping mechanism to deal with it, and nothing more.
When Kristen works with any new client, right away sheâs on the lookout for how they speak about Fear. The reason is; however they refer to this core emotion, speaks volumes about how they speak to themselves. It also reveals the core of their issue.
For example, if they say things like âI hate fear,â because fear is such a huge part of our makeup, itâs akin to saying âI hate myself.â If they say âI ignore fear,â itâs akin to saying âI ignore whatâs going on in my life.â Not only that, such language leads to emotional issue.