This is a detailed list explaining the many things we do, rather than feel our emotions.
Scan it, and plan to be very surprised by what you learn about yourself and why you engage in many of your behaviors. Such awareness, is a crucial step leading to change.
Here’s the deal: Especially if you’ve had an emotional issue for a year or longer, you may be surprised that you receive one or even several dozen payoffs (aka “perks”) for having this issue in your life. Payoffs that you likely don’t want to give up.
And the thing is, you probably have never acknowledged them. Or even know that you have them. Or certainly, know what they are. All you may be aware of is; you aren’t motivated or can’t seem to shake this issue, and have merely resorted to coping mechanism to deal with it, and nothing more.
When Kristen works with any new client, right away she’s on the lookout for how they speak about Fear. The reason is; however they refer to this core emotion, speaks volumes about how they speak to themselves. It also reveals the core of their issue.
For example, if they say things like ‘I hate fear,’ because fear is such a huge part of our makeup, it’s akin to saying ‘I hate myself.’ If they say ‘I ignore fear,’ it’s akin to saying ‘I ignore what’s going on in my life.’ Not only that, such language leads to emotional issue.
Thinking about that career change, promotion, or big move? Then, you catch yourself procrastinating, or daydreaming only of reaching higher in your life. When it comes to action, something just holds you back.
You know intellectually, it’s fear. Maybe you even feel that twinge of tightness in your gut. Either way, you’re stuck, frustrated and struggle with taking risks in career, relationships, sports, inspirations, ideas and more. Yet, time is passing you by. You’re not getting any younger, and you worry you’ll never move forward on your dreams.
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