This is a detailed checklist of the many reasons you unconsciously keep your emotional problem around
Here’s the deal: Especially if you’ve had an emotional issue for a year or longer, you may be surprised that you receive one or even several dozen payoffs (aka “perks”) for having this issue in your life. Payoffs that you likely don’t want to give up.
And the thing is, you probably have never acknowledged them, or even know that you have them or certainly know what they are. All you may be aware of is, you aren’t motivated enough or can’t seem to shake this issue, and thus have resorted to coping mechanism to deal with it and nothing more.
This is a clear sign you receive payoffs for having this issue in your life.
Now, do you really want to submit to it like this, forever?
If not, this list is the way out.
Here’s how it works:
Imagine you’ve been living in the dark your whole life. It’s not too bad, and you’ve gotten used to it. Comfortable even.
But suddenly, something happens and the lights turn on. You can see that you’re in prison, and exactly what kind of prison it is. The lights may go back out a moment later, but you can’t un-see this. And now, you see you have choices. You can only now, decide what to do about it- whether to stay, or go.
This is exactly what happens, when you explore the list.
Which is why Kristen considers it to be a mandatory first step to (hopefully) guiding you out of that prison and into other possibilities.
"Most folks with emotional issues don't know this, but they're getting some sort of payoff for keeping those issues around. And they don't want to give that up."