Here’s the deal: Especially if you’ve had an emotional issue for a year or longer, you may be surprised that you receive one or even several dozen payoffs (aka “perks”) for having this issue in your life. Payoffs that you likely don’t want to give up.
And the thing is, you probably have never acknowledged them. Or even know that you have them. Or certainly, know what they are. All you may be aware of is; you aren’t motivated or can’t seem to shake this issue, and have merely resorted to coping mechanism to deal with it, and nothing more.
This is a detailed list explaining the many things we do, rather than feel our emotions.
Scan it, and plan to be very surprised by what you learn about yourself and why you engage in many of your behaviors. Such awareness, is a crucial step leading to change.
When Kristen works with any new client, right away she’s on the lookout for how they speak about Fear. The reason is; however they refer to this core emotion, speaks volumes about how they speak to themselves. It also reveals the core of their issue.
For example, if they say things like ‘I hate fear,’ because fear is such a huge part of our makeup, it’s akin to saying ‘I hate myself.’ If they say ‘I ignore fear,’ it’s akin to saying ‘I ignore what’s going on in my life.’ Not only that, such language leads to emotional issue.
Do you have trauma-related stress that consumes too much of your life? If yes, likely you’ve tried many approaches to feel better. Some work a bit, others don’t at all. But what’s so frustrating is, they only help you feel better for a moment or day. And if you stop, the stress just comes right back.
Plus, you’re not even clear why you have PTS(D) in the first place, when others who’ve gone through similar trauma don’t.
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